End of my rope

How many times have I said that? How many times have I been here? More than I ever thought was possible.

One positive thing is that Keith has made out fine at daycare. He doesn't really love going but he's been fine there.

He's started seeing a therapist. She mentioned possibly getting him re-evaluated for Asperger's. We'll talk more about it at his next appointment.

Until then, we're struggling. He's so angry and defiant. Tantrums that last an hour or more. Mouthing off. Nothing helps. We've rewarded, we've taken away privileges, we've yelled, we've screamed, we've spanked, we've talked to him quietly. No results.

I'm so tired.

Summer days

Four days of school left. eeeek! I'm not ready for summer. Keith gets incredibly bored. There just isn't enough to keep him busy and there isn't enough structure to his day to keep him under control.

He'll be spending a couple of days with Papa and a couple of days at daycare with Caleb. Should be interesting!

Seasons of change...new friends...old friends

I've been struggling lately with the sense that one of my friendships is changing. J and I have been friends for a very long time. We became friends 15 years ago when I started dating her brother. That relationship ended long ago but J and I remained constant.

A few years ago, a new family moved into the area and became involved with our fire company and there ended up being a HUGE falling out between them and some members of the company, J and her extended family included. I, however, remained friendly with the new family, H and D. Last fall, H offered to transport Caleb to daycare along with her daughter. I was and still am very appreciative of this! This really really helps us out a ton!

Just lately, H and I have been becoming even better friends. We've discovered we have a lot in common. Both of our oldest children have ADHD. We have the same taste in music. The same sense of humor. We're on the same wavelength ALOT. And our families mesh really well. Brian and D get along very well. Our kids get along very well. So we've been hanging out with them quite a bit lately.

Even before that though, I've felt my friendship with J drifting. We still talk occasionally. I still see her at the fire station and other places. But its not the same. We don't hang out. Our families don't hang out together. Their family dynamic is so much different than ours. Her husband, T, doesn't spend a lot of time with the family as a whole. He is more worried about doing what he wants to do when he wants to do it. They don't often do family activities. And if they do, J and T are often not speaking. They have a very rocky relationship sometimes so its uncomfortable to be around them.

It saddens me. I love J, she's been a big part of my life for a long time...but its different now.

Change is hard.

'Tis the T-ball season

And lordy, does it frustrate me!

We all know Keith has the attention span of a gnat but come on! All we (and the coaches!) do is tell him to pay attention, stand up, stop kicking dirt....rinse, repeat. ARGH!

And this has only been at practice. Their first game is Thursday.

Brian took Keith to practice last night and Keith kicked a little boy! What.the.fuck?! Said the kid was bugging him and kicked him. Now, no one else that was there saw the kid touch Keith.

Evenings have gotten increasingly harder. I know its because his meds are all worn off by then and I hate to give him another booster late in the day but I'm so irritated with this stuff.

Just a number, right?

Brian out of the blue last night asked me if I was having a hard time with the fact that I'm turning 30 this year. No, I'm really not. He said that a mom at Keith's T-ball practice was going on and on about how she'd just turned 30. He told her 30 was nothing. He'll be 37 this July.

Okay, holy fuck, when did that happen?! I mean, I know my husband's age. And he's by no means old. Old is like 80. But 37 is only 3 years from 40. How can my husband be almost 40?

When did we grow up and how do we make it stop?

Perfect Day!

Saturday was a fantastic day! The weather was beautiful and Brian and I got to spend the day together.

We dropped the boys off at MIL's at 9am and didn't pick them up until 7pm. We went to the hospital to visit my sister and her new baby Willow. Willow is a preemie and is in the NICU but she's doing REALLY well. After that we went shopping. I needed some new clothes for work and I found some really good deals.

I also scored a Twilight/Team Edward Tote at Walmart! Best find of the day! Okay, it might be a tie between that and the book Brian and I got at Spencer's . *grin*

Umm, wow, it's April

I can't believe I haven't blogged since September! Opps!

Well, Caleb loves daycare/preschool! It's his favorite place ever to spend his day. Over the winter, he was home with Daddy Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays because Brian was laid off. Caleb wasn't sure that was a good thing but they both survived. Brian's now back to work and Caleb's back to preschool 4 days a week. He's happy!

Keith continues to do wonderful in school. His first two report cards of the year held straight A's. This last one was all A's except for one B! I couldn't ask for a smarter kid. We've been so lucky in the fact that his ADHD has not impacted his school experience much at all. I'm not looking forward to summer with this boy. Most kids can't wait for summer, right? Not Keith. He'd rather be in school, where there are things to do all day long.

Living in a very rural area, there aren't that many summertime activities for kids so he gets VERY bored.

The last couple of months, Brian and I have found ourselves in a very good place in our marriage. We've had some ROUGH ROUGH times and I truly believe they've made us stronger as a couple. During those times, I will readily admit that I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel but we kept chugging along and now we've found that light and are enjoying it very much.

In other news, I'm going to be an Aunt!! My sister, Wendy, is almost 33 weeks pregnant with her first child. She has an 11 year old stepdaughter, Harley, but this baby (Willow) will be Wendy's first. She's having a rough time. She's been at a NICU hospital for a week as of today because of Pre-eclampsia. Right now, its a day to day evaluation of her condition. The doctors are just basically waiting for the day Wendy's blood pressure starts to rise dramatically and hope that it isn't too soon. We'd all like Willow to bake a little while longer.

That's what is new in our part of the world! Hopefully it won't be so long between updates, huh? ;-)