Monday, September 29, 2008

Solution!

We've enrolled Caleb in daycare/preschool four days a week. My parents will watch him on Mondays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays a friend of mine whose daughter attends this same daycare will take Caleb with her. Yay! for good friends. Wednesdays and Fridays my dad has offered to take Caleb to daycare. Yay! for good daddys!

It's going to put an even bigger strain on our budget but I honestly didn't have much choice when I tried to call M on Friday with a question and found her telephone disconnected. Wouldn't have been a big deal but we live in the land of no cell service and she has NO neighbors. What do you suppose she would have done in an emergency???

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Wishing time away

I hate to do that but I can't wait for Caleb to go to school.

Once again, we're having babysitter issues. GAH! M gave us two days notice that she can no longer watch C on Wednesday's because she's joined a bowling league that bowls Wed. afternoons. *rolling eyes* Gee, that's great.

We're searching for a solution.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The results

So having time to read and digest the report from the neuropsych, here are the main points.

Keith is above average in intelligence, he just doesn't have the capablity to focus long enough to reach his full potention.

The offical diagnosis is:

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder – Combined Type
Adjustment Reaction with Mixed Disturbance of Emotions and Conduct

The first one...well, we knew that. The second one...umm I have no clue! LOL

But the doctor gave us some great tips and tricks to do to help Keith.

I've also contacted the Department of Special Education at school to start the evaluation process for an Individual Education Plan (IEP) so he doesn't get lost in the system.

Speaking of school, it starts next Tuesday and I.can't.wait!! This summer has been difficult for us all because Keith needs so much structure to his day and its just not been possible. He gets very bored and then acts out.

It's hard to believe summer is nearly over. It's gone by so quickly.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Oh my

I know, I know...you probably want an update, right? I just don't have it in me right now. So.much.information!

So I want to give you a bit of eye candy to start off your weekend.

Check out Olympic swimmer, Michael Phelps....





Can you say Holy hot? ;-)

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Waiting and summer days

That's where we are right now, justing waiting.

What are we waiting on, you ask? Well, on July 30th Keith had a 2 hour neuropsychological evaluation. We get the results of that on August 12th.

Brian twisted his knee a couple of months ago and it was still bothering him so I made him see our doctor. An MRI revealed two tears. One in the tendon attaching his knee to his lower leg and and ACL tear. GREAT! (Hear the sarcasm?) So we wait for an appointment with a specialist (August 29). We're hoping that we can hold off major treatment until after Brian is laid off in December. We'll see, I guess.

Last Friday night we set up a borrowed tent in the backyard. We had a campfire and made S'mores then crawled into our tent for the night. This was a test run, you see. I wanted to make sure that the boys would settle fairly well to sleep in a tent before we went off camping somewhere. I needn't have worried. They talked for about 15 minutes and dropped off to sleep.

Guess we'll be okay to go camping! I hope we can find time for it yet this summer!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

It's my life too?

The title of my blog is a lie. It doesn't feel like its my life too. I feel totally consumed (not in a good way) with worry about my kids, especially Keith, and worry about money.

I don't know who *I* am. I know its important to make time for myself but how? How am I supposed to take the time and money to do something for myself without feeling guilty? The money should be used elsewhere...not on me.

I guess I'll figure it out someday, right?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Pros and Cons

There are big pros and cons to living close to your family. We live very near to my parents. This has enabled my boys to have a fantastic, close relationship with them. They have been of tremendous help to us in many many ways. And we are very grateful for all their help.

This, however, seems to have made my Mom think that she can meddle in our lives and say things to me that you wouldn't think anyone would *ever* say to someone's face.

I have pretty much been able to shrug these things off....until last night. She made a very very ignorant remark about my husband. I hung up on her and haven't spoken with her since.

She has been at times very detrimental to any progress we make with Keith. She coddles him. Not that I think that children shouldn't be coddled a bit now and then but every time he gets in trouble for something while she's there, she baby's him. Frustrating, don't you think?

I love my parents. My dad doesn't normally have a lot to say...Mom makes up for it, I guess.

Unfortunately, this has shown me that we need create a bit of distance with them. And I need to set some ground rules for dealing with Keith. He's MY son. And its time she realizes it is none of her business how I handle my son and how he is punished.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Hello!

Anyone still out there?

Yeah, I know...its been too long. Life has gotten in the way.

Stay tuned, I'll try harder.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year!

Here's hoping the new year brings health and happiness to everyone!

Also, please keep baby Z in your thoughts. He's a sick sick baby right now and I'm sending all the positive thoughts I have his way.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Appointment Update

Saturday, the entire day, was horrible. I wanted to run away forever.

Keith did not get up and ready to go well. He fought over every little thing. He was a total bear. I did not give him his medicine because I wanted him to be his normal hyperactive self at the psychiatrist’s office. So he was bouncing off the walls too. Brian has no patience. He was getting pissed off at Keith and being nasty to him, so I got on Brian’s case for that. So there starts Brian and I fighting. In the midst of that, Brian tells me that I’m lucky that its not 15 year ago. Huh? He then informs me that he used to have an anger management problem and if he had been dealing with Keith at that time, he probably would have hurt Keith by now and he’s trying very hard not to get back to that point. I’m haunted by that conversation still. We did not speak the entire way to the appointment.

Keith’s appointment was at 10 am. We weren’t sure exactly how long it would take us to get there and weren’t sure exactly where the place was so left in plenty of time. We ended up being 45 minutes early. And it was 15 minutes past our appointment time before we were called in.

They had mailed us paperwork to fill out a week or so ago that we took with us. My first impression of Dr. C was meh. He started out by going over the paperwork we filled out. When he saw that Keith has been seeing Dr. N, the psychologist, he asked what we were there to see him for. I was pretty confused by that question and must have looked it. Dr. C says that he’s a psychologist and didn’t understand if we already had a psychologist, why we were seeing him. I was a bit ticked at the way he said that and explained to him that Keith’s doctor didn’t feel comfortable managing his meds anymore and referred us to this office. They set up the appointment for us and that’s about all I knew. So he figures out that he basically is doing an intake interview for the psychiatrist.

One of the questions on the papers I had to fill out was for the parents. The question was “What are you proud of?” My answer was very honest. I’m proud that we have not lost our sanity yet. Dr. C kind of chuckled at that and I told him that it was the God’s honest truth. Dr. C talked to Keith some about school, etc. During this time (15 minutes maybe), Keith was sitting on my lap. Picking at the wall. Sliding down my legs. Back on my lap. Kneeling on my lap looking at the picture on the wall. On the floor. Back on my lap on his knees facing me ducking his head down in my lap. I told him to stop and sit down. He did not. Dr. C got up and picked him up off my lap and sat him down in his desk chair. Told him he needed to sit there and asked him if he knew why. Keith said no so Dr. C told him it was because he was bugging Mommy and didn’t listen when I said stop. Keith shrugged it off and started getting into the stuff on Dr. C’s desk. I told him to Stop and like normal, he didn’t even hear me. Dr. C looked at me and said, “It’s been like this for 2 years or so, huh?” I said Yes. And nearly cried when he said “I understand why you’re proud of not losing your sanity.” No one has ever ever ever said they understand what we’re dealing with every day.

That was pretty much the end of our appointment. We now need to see the psychiatrist, Dr. M. Dr. C said we didn’t need to see him again since we were already seeing a psychologist but Brian and I talked it over and if we’re going to be going there to see Dr. M, and still need the psychologist we might as well see Dr. C.

After we left there we went to lunch and then Walmart. Santa happened to be there so Keith got to see Santa. He was so incredibly awful the entire time in Walmart. He wandered off every time you turned around. He didn’t pay attention to where he was walking and kept running into people. He stopped at every little thing that caught his eye. He couldn’t keep his hands off anything. It.was.awful. I was so glad to get home. I gave him his afternoon medicine and made him play in his room until it kicked in.

The receptionist should call me today to set up the appointment with the psychiatrist. I hope its soon.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

been a long time

Wow, I can't believe its been so long since I blogged.

I guess I just haven't had anything new to complain about. *shrug*

Keith has an appointment with a psychiatrist this Saturday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we all like him. We're seeing this guy because our primary doctor isn't comfortable continuing to manage his meds. And the psychologist he's been seeing, being a psychologist and not a psychiatrist, can't prescribe meds.

Please let this be the doctor that can help us.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

What happened to us?

My husband asked me this question last night after the biggest screaming fight we've ever had. And I have no clue. I don't know what's happening to us.

I do know between financial problems and Keith's behavioral problems, I'm so stressed out I feel like I'm going crazy most days. I know those things are affecting our marriage.

I'm resentful towards Brian because he has his bowling league once a week. And I don't feel that he contributes a fair share towards the household chores. I've asked him to help out more. He feels he's doing plenty, he tells me.

He's been so irritable and grumpy lately. I'm not the only one that's noticed it. Everyone has been asking me what's wrong with Brian? I have no clue. When I asked him about it he said he wasn't aware that he was grumpy.

Last nights fight started before we even got home from Keith's therapy appointment. I stopped to pick Caleb up from Mom and Dad's and Brian pulled halfway down our driveway, then stopped to yell at me about whether I was coming right home. I couldn't hear him so he squealed his tires all the way up the drive to come to where I could hear him. We went home and it was 83* in the house. He didn't turn the a/c on before he left because *he* thought it wasn't all that hot. It was nearly 90* outside yesterday and we have no shade around our house. I hate being hot so it made me extremely irritated.

Then we started in fighting with Keith to do a time out b/c he pushed Caleb. That's always good for some arguing between Brian and me. Then I noticed that the clothes still hung out on the clothesline. Oh except for Caleb's sneakers. Brian got those off the clothesline but left all the other DRY clothes behind. And the sink was FULL of dirty dishes. I should clarify that Brian didn't have to work yesterday and I did.

Now, I don't expect a whole lot, I really don't. But if you're home most of the day and there are things that need done, DO THEM! Well, apparantly, since he ran the vaccum, cleaned the litter box and did laundry on Saturday morning so the house was clean for people to use for the wedding (which they never did! GRRR) while I was "off playing with the girls, getting my hair done", that was good enough.........forever apparantly.

So I don't know what's happening to my marriage but its not so nice right now.

Monday, October 08, 2007

same old, same old

I know I haven't blogged in a while. There really isn't much to say. Work is work, school is still going great for Keith, he's seeing a therapist, we're still struggling but we'll make it, I guess.

My sister got married this past weekend. Keith and I were both in the wedding.


That's it, I guess. *shrug*

Friday, September 14, 2007

School days again!

School started on September 4th. Keith was very very excited and was so happy to be back to school! Go figure! LOL

I hadn't heard a word yet from his teacher so I assumed things were going fine but that little nagging voice inside wouldn't shut up.

I emailed the teacher yesterday and this is what she had to say....

Keith is doing fine. He is a very nice boy and has a lot of good things to contribute to discussions-especially if we are talking about snakes!!!

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! After all of the negative emails I got last year, it was such a relief to get this!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

You said what?!

My mother and I are very close. We get along very well. In fact, we live pretty much next door to my parents. The boys spend alot of time with them and Keith LOVES to do things with Papa.

It's rare when Mom and I have words so when we do it really bothers me.

Mom and Dad watched the boys while Brian and I met with Keith's new therapist last night. I called Mom when we got done and she said that Keith was not having a good night and had been having a bad tantrum. After we got home and Mom went home herself, I was talking to her on the phone. She told me that if Keith told me she has said some mean things, she had. Ummm okay. She said she told him that he was not allowed to come to their house again if he couldn't learn to control himself.

I was totally horrified! How awful to tell a child that has problems like Keith that he can't come back to his grandparents house until he can control his tantrums. And I told her so. I told her that was the most ignorant, awful thing she could have ever said to the poor kid, who has control problems. To which she told me she thinks he can control his tantrums, he just choses not to. What the fuck?!

I chose to end the conversation before I totally lost my temper.

I'm very disappointed in the way she handled Keith last night.

In other news, we really liked the therapist! Keith's first appointment is on Sept. 17th. "Dr. John" said that he wants to do Developmental Play Therapy with Keith. Keith will love that! LOL

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Round 2

After increasing Keith's dose of Strattera, every little thing made him totally uncontrollable and hysterical. I picked up a prescription for Adderall yesterday. Hope this one is better.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

oh so hard

I wish I could say things were much better with Keith. I wish that so much. They're not. We're still trying to find the right medicine/dosage. I've set up an appointment with a therapist. I'm doing my best but oh God, this is so hard.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Happy Birthday, Ryan

I'm thinking of Sherry and Mike today on Ryan's 2nd birthday.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

What a long week!

Oh my goodness, its been quite a week.

After Brian's ER visit, I managed to get him seen by the urologist yesterday instead of today. They do not think that they can break the kidney stone up enough that it can pass on its own. Surgery is tomorrow! Yikes! He'll have to stay overnight but he recovery time is very short and he should be back to work on Monday.

I had an appointment yesterday with the OBGYN to discuss have a tubal ligation. We are done having children. We are so blessed to have the two beautiful boys we have. This decision bittersweet for me. I'm choosing to end my childbearing while so many others are struggling to begin their families or expand their families. The OB gave me two options. The traditional tubal ligation, which means surgery, etc. Or a newer procedure called Essure . This is non-invasive and is done right in the doctors office. This is what I've decided to do so hopefully it will be done next month.


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

So far so good

Keith hasn't had any adverse effects from the Strattera. The first couple of days it made him pretty sleepy and upset his stomach slightly but that has stopped. It has seem to calm him down a bit. The only problem is in the evenings when it wears off you can't stand to be around him because he's SO wired and difficult. That may warrant some discussion with the doctor as to what to do about that.

In other news, I'm SO upset and saddened by Kristin's latest blog posts but I'm going to hold onto that tiny glimmer of hope for as long as I can.

Also, I spent the day in the Emergency Room with Brian yesterday. He started having stomach and back pain on Sunday afternoon and it got much worse yesterday. It seems he has a rather large kidney stone. He sees the urologist on Thursday and we're hoping to get it taken care of ASAP!