*sigh* what a weekend.
Friday afternoon the school called me to come pick Keith up. He was crying b/c his ear hurt. Greaaaaaat! I managed to get him a doctor's appointment that afternoon. Mind you, the child had not complained about his ears hurting at all before Friday at school. Before we got to his appointment, his eardrum had burst from all the pressure so he was feeling alot better. He's got drops we have to put in his ear and he's got to go back in two weeks to make sure it healed good.
We checked with my MIL, who was supposed to watch the kids this weekend to make sure she didn't mind a sick one. Not a problem for her so we dropped the kids off and took off for our "reconnect" weekend.
We didn't do much Friday night just relaxed, had dinner. Saturday morning all hell broke loose. As I was stepping out of the shower, Brian was just coming back into the motel room, REEKING of cigarette smoke. I said something about it and he says, "yeah, I bought a pack". When I asked why he would do that after not having smoked for nearly 6 weeks, he tells me that he's been smoking for over a week.
What the fuck?! I flipped. Him smoking again is one thing but sneaking around, deceiving me? Oh, that is a whole 'nother bucket of worms! I was furious and I'm still pretty darn pissed off about it. We "discussed" it a bit right then and then we went about our shopping. It was a very uncomfortable, quiet day. Later on that afternoon, we got into it again. He thinks I'm over-reacting.
I don't think so at all. Its not a nice feeling to find out that the man I married is sneaky and deceitful. I'm really having a hard time with that. The smoking is NOTHING at this point.
So it was an awful weekend and then I get home and Caleb is now sick also.
Just gimme a freakin' break already!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
what's new with us.
Keith got his cast off today! We've been counting down the days, let me tell you. We had our mid year conference with his teacher on Friday. I was so nervous! It went really well. She said he had made a lot of improvement since the beginning of the year, academically and socially. He is still pretty hyper but that's Keith....he is hyper. Whaddya gonna do, ya know? Yeah, maybe he could be ADHD, but its not severe and he can sit and concentrate on what he needs to do, he just has to wiggle around to do it. LOL! But she said she thought he would be more than ready for 1st grade which was a load off of my mind.
What's new with Caleb? Caleb, Caleb, Caleb.......well he won't sleep through the night. For the last month or more, he's been getting up 2, 3, 4, sometimes 5 times a night. I *think* its seperation anxiety. I don't know why he wakes up but once he does, he gets scared b/c he's alone. I think. I even took him to the doctor to make sure there was nothing wrong with him. It's getting very very old, this getting up during the night. Thankfully, since Brian isn't working, he's been doing the majority of it, but I still am awake when Caleb starts to scream. *sigh*
This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass.
Brian and I are going away this weekend, just the two of us. We need it desperately. I've begun noticing that I've been distancing myself from him. It's been a rough few months and I tend to isolate myself when I'm having problems. We need time to reconnect. I can't wait!
What's new with Caleb? Caleb, Caleb, Caleb.......well he won't sleep through the night. For the last month or more, he's been getting up 2, 3, 4, sometimes 5 times a night. I *think* its seperation anxiety. I don't know why he wakes up but once he does, he gets scared b/c he's alone. I think. I even took him to the doctor to make sure there was nothing wrong with him. It's getting very very old, this getting up during the night. Thankfully, since Brian isn't working, he's been doing the majority of it, but I still am awake when Caleb starts to scream. *sigh*
This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass.
Brian and I are going away this weekend, just the two of us. We need it desperately. I've begun noticing that I've been distancing myself from him. It's been a rough few months and I tend to isolate myself when I'm having problems. We need time to reconnect. I can't wait!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Why?
I can't apologize for my feelings. They are honest feelings and I can't change them. I am so very lucky to have carried in my body and given birth to two healthy children, I know that. Too many women haven't been able to have what I do.
But every day lately I question why God has decided that I should be the one to shape and raise these two stubborn, strong willed boys. On top of that, I wonder why he tests my strength and sanity at every other turn in everything else I do.
Keith has gotten better than he used to be, don't get me wrong. But every day is still a struggle. Every.fucking.day. I get so tired of it. And you know the old adage "learn by example". Yeah, that's what Caleb is doing. I've tried explaining to Keith that he's the big brother. The way he acts helps to shape the way Caleb acts. That apparantly has done no good. Why why why why why can't he just LISTEN? Just one day I would love for him to do what I ask. Even half a day. I want a day where I don't have to get after him for something.
And my husband. Lord knows I love him but he drives me crazy too. In the 6 or 7 years we've been together, he's had 6 or 7 different jobs. Apparantly he can't find one that suits him. Well, ya know what, I don't always like my fucking job either but hey, guess what I'm an adult. That means being responsible and doing things I don't like doing. So grow up and take some responsibility for yourself.
And clean the fucking litter box please. I'm getting sick of smelling it. It will really piss me off if I have to clean it.
But every day lately I question why God has decided that I should be the one to shape and raise these two stubborn, strong willed boys. On top of that, I wonder why he tests my strength and sanity at every other turn in everything else I do.
Keith has gotten better than he used to be, don't get me wrong. But every day is still a struggle. Every.fucking.day. I get so tired of it. And you know the old adage "learn by example". Yeah, that's what Caleb is doing. I've tried explaining to Keith that he's the big brother. The way he acts helps to shape the way Caleb acts. That apparantly has done no good. Why why why why why can't he just LISTEN? Just one day I would love for him to do what I ask. Even half a day. I want a day where I don't have to get after him for something.
And my husband. Lord knows I love him but he drives me crazy too. In the 6 or 7 years we've been together, he's had 6 or 7 different jobs. Apparantly he can't find one that suits him. Well, ya know what, I don't always like my fucking job either but hey, guess what I'm an adult. That means being responsible and doing things I don't like doing. So grow up and take some responsibility for yourself.
And clean the fucking litter box please. I'm getting sick of smelling it. It will really piss me off if I have to clean it.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
sickness, broken bones and more bad luck!
You know that old saying, if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all? Yup, that's me! Seriously.
Brian was laid off from his job the beginning of January. No big deal, we thought, he'll sign up for unemployment. He did and was denied because he didn't earn enough wages in the right time period......whatever. So we are surviving on my income which just doesn't cut it. Saturday, the 20th, Keith spent the night with my MIL. Sunday morning around 10, Brian called her to see what time we should pick him up and we were informed that he had fallen off the couch Saturday night and was STILL complaining that his wrist hurt. After calling my mom to come watch Caleb, we picked Keith up and took him to the Emergency Room. After waiting and waiting and waiting and getting X-rays, the doctor says "Yup, he broke it." Thank God its his left wrist is all I gotta say! They splinted it and put him in a sling until Monday when we saw an orthopedist who casted it. I was FURIOUS with my MIL for not calling me. Brian didn't really see why. What the fuck?!
Monday night, Keith started running a bit of a fever but was okay then next morning so I sent him to school. When he got home that afternoon, he was running a hellish fever and was still Wednesday morning. He did not complain that he didn't feel good, just that he had a headache. So I kept him home and took him to the doctor. He had SEVERE tonsilitis and was not allowed back to school until this Monday.
Man, what a unlucky time we've had of it. I've got my fingers crossed that it gets MUCH better soon!
Brian was laid off from his job the beginning of January. No big deal, we thought, he'll sign up for unemployment. He did and was denied because he didn't earn enough wages in the right time period......whatever. So we are surviving on my income which just doesn't cut it. Saturday, the 20th, Keith spent the night with my MIL. Sunday morning around 10, Brian called her to see what time we should pick him up and we were informed that he had fallen off the couch Saturday night and was STILL complaining that his wrist hurt. After calling my mom to come watch Caleb, we picked Keith up and took him to the Emergency Room. After waiting and waiting and waiting and getting X-rays, the doctor says "Yup, he broke it." Thank God its his left wrist is all I gotta say! They splinted it and put him in a sling until Monday when we saw an orthopedist who casted it. I was FURIOUS with my MIL for not calling me. Brian didn't really see why. What the fuck?!
Monday night, Keith started running a bit of a fever but was okay then next morning so I sent him to school. When he got home that afternoon, he was running a hellish fever and was still Wednesday morning. He did not complain that he didn't feel good, just that he had a headache. So I kept him home and took him to the doctor. He had SEVERE tonsilitis and was not allowed back to school until this Monday.
Man, what a unlucky time we've had of it. I've got my fingers crossed that it gets MUCH better soon!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Day 2
Yesterday, ended up being our quit day.
All is going great, actually! I feel good, no horrible cravings. :-)
Seriously I think anyone wanting to quit smoking should look into Chantix. It really really does eliminate the cravings. The only problem is breaking the actual habit of lifting that ciggie to your mouth.
All is going great, actually! I feel good, no horrible cravings. :-)
Seriously I think anyone wanting to quit smoking should look into Chantix. It really really does eliminate the cravings. The only problem is breaking the actual habit of lifting that ciggie to your mouth.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Time flies
Has it really so long since I blogged? Wow, time sure does fly when you work and have kids and tons of other things going on.
Let's see......what's happened in those three months....
Caleb got tubes in his ears and his adenoids removed on Dec. 9th. The surgery went well and he just had his checkup on Tuesday. Everything is looking good. He has had a cold since the end of Dec and his one ear is draining alot. At least the tubes are doing their job that way!
Keith is doing great in school. He still loves it! :-)
Christmas was good, the kids got way too many toys, of course.
I guess the biggest news of the new year is Brian and I are going to quit smoking. We've started taking Chantix, a new drug that blocks the receptors in the brain that respond to nicotine. We're on Day 5, with our quit date slated to be Monday, Jan. 15th.
I am going to make an effort to blog more often, I promise!
Let's see......what's happened in those three months....
Caleb got tubes in his ears and his adenoids removed on Dec. 9th. The surgery went well and he just had his checkup on Tuesday. Everything is looking good. He has had a cold since the end of Dec and his one ear is draining alot. At least the tubes are doing their job that way!
Keith is doing great in school. He still loves it! :-)
Christmas was good, the kids got way too many toys, of course.
I guess the biggest news of the new year is Brian and I are going to quit smoking. We've started taking Chantix, a new drug that blocks the receptors in the brain that respond to nicotine. We're on Day 5, with our quit date slated to be Monday, Jan. 15th.
I am going to make an effort to blog more often, I promise!
Friday, October 27, 2006
another rite of passage
I've become the Tooth Fairy.
My little boy is growing up so fast. I get wistful for his baby days when he gets home from school and he shows me the new thing he learned that day.
Where did the last 5 years go?
Friday, October 20, 2006
A trip down memory lane
Its hard to believe I have a son wandering the same elementary school hallways that I did, with the same kindergarten teacher. There have been some changes to the building and some changes in teachers. But it seemed to fade back into the school that I remember last night.
We went to Open House at the school last night. We had to sit thru a short Parent Teacher Organization meeting then browsed through the books at the Book Fair and got to see Keith's classroom, the library, gym, cafeteria, art room, music room, you name it, Keith showed it to us. He was SO excited. It makes me so happy that he loves school.
Today was Grandparents Day and the kids are allowed to go home with their grandparents after recess if they want. Mom said that Keith had such a hard time deciding what to do because he would miss his friends if he went home. :-)
It was a relief to see that Keith has made a lot of friends. I think that's something that all parents worry about. Its so important that their first year of school leaves them with positive memories. I've got my fingers crossed that it continues to be this great!
We went to Open House at the school last night. We had to sit thru a short Parent Teacher Organization meeting then browsed through the books at the Book Fair and got to see Keith's classroom, the library, gym, cafeteria, art room, music room, you name it, Keith showed it to us. He was SO excited. It makes me so happy that he loves school.
Today was Grandparents Day and the kids are allowed to go home with their grandparents after recess if they want. Mom said that Keith had such a hard time deciding what to do because he would miss his friends if he went home. :-)
It was a relief to see that Keith has made a lot of friends. I think that's something that all parents worry about. Its so important that their first year of school leaves them with positive memories. I've got my fingers crossed that it continues to be this great!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
bitching and moaning
Seems like all I write about are complaints. Well, it is therapy of a sort!
Another rough morning at my house. Keith balked about getting dressed and outright refused to brush his teeth so into Time Out he went. Then begins the screaming, yelling and whining from him that I have to ignore. Do you know how hard that is? I want to scream at him to SHUT UP! It makes me what to rip my hair out. I get so freaking pissed off that he won't do what he's supposed to. How hard is it?? Let me brush your teeth!! Get dressed!! Why is that so hard? Why why why why why?
What I wouldn't give for an easy morning where everyone gets up and gets dressed and ready to face the day with no complaining or problems.
See? Its always the same with me..........bitch, bitch, bitch about the same thing. You'd think pretty soon I'd suck it up, right? And quit complaining. Yeah, sure, then I'll explode.
I was looking forward to next month. Brian was supposed to go to a two day conference with his bosses and the wives always go along to do shopping and such. I was really excited........a couple of days away, retail therapy, maybe the chance to meet up with a couple of friends.......
*POP*
That was the sound of my bubble bursting. The bosses decided that this conference wouldn't benefit Brian a whole lot so they'd like him to stay home and cover service calls. Thanks guys.
Another rough morning at my house. Keith balked about getting dressed and outright refused to brush his teeth so into Time Out he went. Then begins the screaming, yelling and whining from him that I have to ignore. Do you know how hard that is? I want to scream at him to SHUT UP! It makes me what to rip my hair out. I get so freaking pissed off that he won't do what he's supposed to. How hard is it?? Let me brush your teeth!! Get dressed!! Why is that so hard? Why why why why why?
What I wouldn't give for an easy morning where everyone gets up and gets dressed and ready to face the day with no complaining or problems.
See? Its always the same with me..........bitch, bitch, bitch about the same thing. You'd think pretty soon I'd suck it up, right? And quit complaining. Yeah, sure, then I'll explode.
I was looking forward to next month. Brian was supposed to go to a two day conference with his bosses and the wives always go along to do shopping and such. I was really excited........a couple of days away, retail therapy, maybe the chance to meet up with a couple of friends.......
*POP*
That was the sound of my bubble bursting. The bosses decided that this conference wouldn't benefit Brian a whole lot so they'd like him to stay home and cover service calls. Thanks guys.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
It's been awhile
Things are well, hectic in my life. I seem to be running somewhere all the time.
Keith has good days and bad days. He still LOVES school (Thank God!). They had vision screenings a while ago and he was referred to an optometrist. We went and he's pretty farsighted in his right eye. So now he has glasses, which hasn't been too bad. He doesn't really mind them.
Caleb.......oh boy. What a pisser. He is on the go all. the. time. And into something all the time. He loves to play with Keith but he can't always do what Keith is doing and Keith gets frustrated because Caleb won't leave him alone. *sigh* It seems all I say is "Caleb, NO!" The past 4 or 5 days, Caleb has decided to either get up early in the morning or during the night. This morning he was up at 2:20 am. I did get him to go back to sleep with me on the couch around 4 am. This makes for a very tired Mommy on top of this awful cold I've had for a month.
Brian has not been a whole lot of help lately. I don't know what caused the change. He used to do dishes sometimes, he used to do laundry, he used to vaccuum. Nothing now. He gets home from work, eats dinner and watches TV. Right now, I have a FULL sink of dirty dishes. I'm just waiting for him to say something about them. Cause I'm waiting for him to do them.
So far this week, he has not been home before 7 pm. On Monday, it was 7 when he got home. He had stopped at the bowling alley to pick out a new bowling ball that his mother is buying him. I, on the other hand, took Keith to the eye doctor as soon as he got home from school. Which is an hour trip, one way. So I got back around 6:45 and had to find dinner for Keith and I before I had to be at the fire hall at 7:15.
Last night, the boys and Brian had hair cut appointments at 5 pm. So as soon as Keith got off the bus, we took off. Brian met us there. After they got their haircuts, Brian had to go get his new bowling ball drilled. I took the boys home, got dinner, played, got them both in bed. Brian got home at 8:30 pm. Tonight he bowls.
*sigh* I feel like a complete lunatic most days. I have no patience, I'm exhausted, I really feel like I'm losing my mind.
Keith has good days and bad days. He still LOVES school (Thank God!). They had vision screenings a while ago and he was referred to an optometrist. We went and he's pretty farsighted in his right eye. So now he has glasses, which hasn't been too bad. He doesn't really mind them.
Caleb.......oh boy. What a pisser. He is on the go all. the. time. And into something all the time. He loves to play with Keith but he can't always do what Keith is doing and Keith gets frustrated because Caleb won't leave him alone. *sigh* It seems all I say is "Caleb, NO!" The past 4 or 5 days, Caleb has decided to either get up early in the morning or during the night. This morning he was up at 2:20 am. I did get him to go back to sleep with me on the couch around 4 am. This makes for a very tired Mommy on top of this awful cold I've had for a month.
Brian has not been a whole lot of help lately. I don't know what caused the change. He used to do dishes sometimes, he used to do laundry, he used to vaccuum. Nothing now. He gets home from work, eats dinner and watches TV. Right now, I have a FULL sink of dirty dishes. I'm just waiting for him to say something about them. Cause I'm waiting for him to do them.
So far this week, he has not been home before 7 pm. On Monday, it was 7 when he got home. He had stopped at the bowling alley to pick out a new bowling ball that his mother is buying him. I, on the other hand, took Keith to the eye doctor as soon as he got home from school. Which is an hour trip, one way. So I got back around 6:45 and had to find dinner for Keith and I before I had to be at the fire hall at 7:15.
Last night, the boys and Brian had hair cut appointments at 5 pm. So as soon as Keith got off the bus, we took off. Brian met us there. After they got their haircuts, Brian had to go get his new bowling ball drilled. I took the boys home, got dinner, played, got them both in bed. Brian got home at 8:30 pm. Tonight he bowls.
*sigh* I feel like a complete lunatic most days. I have no patience, I'm exhausted, I really feel like I'm losing my mind.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
World War III
Yup, its at my house.
So, the therapist was in total agreement about no meds and we now have a new Time Out system. Its hard. Keith, of course, hates it.
Dr. P assured me that it would get much worse before it gets better but he felt that this is not a serious problem and he doesn't think it will take very long for Keith to relearn what behavior is proper. He expects to see results quickly.
I hope so, I really really do.
So, the therapist was in total agreement about no meds and we now have a new Time Out system. Its hard. Keith, of course, hates it.
Dr. P assured me that it would get much worse before it gets better but he felt that this is not a serious problem and he doesn't think it will take very long for Keith to relearn what behavior is proper. He expects to see results quickly.
I hope so, I really really do.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Life just isn't fair, is it?
Caleb has had a cold for a week or so now and Sunday night I knew it was time to take him to the doctor and have his ears checked. Sure enough, he's just starting ear infections. This is only the second one he's had so I'm pretty happy with that considering by this age Keith had tubes.
Anyway, I was home with Caleb yesterday to take him to the doctor and while I could have done without all of the whining of a sick baby, I miss it today while I sit here at work.
I want to stay home with all my heart. I hate having days off because it just drives that fact home all the more. I. want. to. be. a. stay. at. home. mommy. I want to be able to be there when Keith leaves for school in addition to being there when he gets home. I want to be able to snuggle with my little man whenever I feel like it. I don't want to feel so freaking frazzled at night after I get home from work, trying to get dinner cooked and served, get the kids bathed and into bed, get lunches ready, etc. and have no time to spend playing with my kids.
We could afford for me to stay home......if we sold the house and my car. But it will never happen because my job provides our health insurance free of charge for the entire family. Lucky me, huh?
Anyway, I was home with Caleb yesterday to take him to the doctor and while I could have done without all of the whining of a sick baby, I miss it today while I sit here at work.
I want to stay home with all my heart. I hate having days off because it just drives that fact home all the more. I. want. to. be. a. stay. at. home. mommy. I want to be able to be there when Keith leaves for school in addition to being there when he gets home. I want to be able to snuggle with my little man whenever I feel like it. I don't want to feel so freaking frazzled at night after I get home from work, trying to get dinner cooked and served, get the kids bathed and into bed, get lunches ready, etc. and have no time to spend playing with my kids.
We could afford for me to stay home......if we sold the house and my car. But it will never happen because my job provides our health insurance free of charge for the entire family. Lucky me, huh?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
no magic pills for us, please
In my last post, I did wish for a magic pill to help Keith's behavior. I haven't written about his appointment because I needed some time to step back and think about where to go from here.
The appointment itself was pretty good. The doctor was very nice and spent a lot of time going over family and medical history with me then spent a while examining Keith. He ordered bloodwork which we had done after the appointment and he also gave us two prescriptions. I did take the 'scripts to the pharmacy on the way home and they weren't able to fill one of them because the dosage the doctor indicated does not exist!
I called the doctors office several times the next day and left messages regarding this problem and when someone did finally call me back on Friday, it was not a pretty conversation. I was VERY irritated that they took so long to get back to me and that I was unable to get in touch with someone. *sigh*
Anyway, Brian and I had a long talk and I did a bunch of research on the 'Net and it is our personal belief that medication should be the LAST step not the first.
Keith has an appointment next week with a therapist. We're going to try that route and see what happens there for now. Everything I've read supports this route. My family, I don't think, are going to see eye to eye on this with me but this is MY kid.
And I will try to do my best for him....whatever that may be.
The appointment itself was pretty good. The doctor was very nice and spent a lot of time going over family and medical history with me then spent a while examining Keith. He ordered bloodwork which we had done after the appointment and he also gave us two prescriptions. I did take the 'scripts to the pharmacy on the way home and they weren't able to fill one of them because the dosage the doctor indicated does not exist!
I called the doctors office several times the next day and left messages regarding this problem and when someone did finally call me back on Friday, it was not a pretty conversation. I was VERY irritated that they took so long to get back to me and that I was unable to get in touch with someone. *sigh*
Anyway, Brian and I had a long talk and I did a bunch of research on the 'Net and it is our personal belief that medication should be the LAST step not the first.
Keith has an appointment next week with a therapist. We're going to try that route and see what happens there for now. Everything I've read supports this route. My family, I don't think, are going to see eye to eye on this with me but this is MY kid.
And I will try to do my best for him....whatever that may be.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
school days
School started on Monday. According to Keith, he has had a wonderful time. He's colored, played with clay, sang songs and had lots of fun. I was so happy! What a breakthrough for us, I thought.
Mrs. A. sent a note home yesterday. It wasn't anything too bad like major tantrums or hitting/kicking just that he refused to finish coloring an assigned page for a while on the first day. And again yesterday. He sat and stared at his paper during inside recess while all of the kids played around him, like it didn't matter. Then he got upset when Mrs. A took the paper from him.
We have an appointment with a pediatrician regarding Keith's behaviour this afternoon. I just want some answers and some solutions. God help me, I wish there was a magic pill to give him and make him better.
I hope he's being good at school today because all he did this morning at home was fight about everything. I knew the first two mornings were too good to be true.
I'm so tired.
Mrs. A. sent a note home yesterday. It wasn't anything too bad like major tantrums or hitting/kicking just that he refused to finish coloring an assigned page for a while on the first day. And again yesterday. He sat and stared at his paper during inside recess while all of the kids played around him, like it didn't matter. Then he got upset when Mrs. A took the paper from him.
We have an appointment with a pediatrician regarding Keith's behaviour this afternoon. I just want some answers and some solutions. God help me, I wish there was a magic pill to give him and make him better.
I hope he's being good at school today because all he did this morning at home was fight about everything. I knew the first two mornings were too good to be true.
I'm so tired.
Friday, August 25, 2006
orientation and daycare
Today is the LAST day I have to deal with whacko babysitter! Yay! Gonna have a party, gonna have a party! Caleb starts daycare on Tuesday and Keith starts school on Monday. Yikes!
Kindergarten orientation was yesterday. We got to see Keith's classroom, meet his teacher, take a bus ride, find his locker, etc. It was fun! Keith was actually very well behaved. He had trouble being quiet when Mrs. A was talking but thankfully he wasn't the only one! LOL
He seems slightly excited. Its really hard to tell with him. *sigh*
His behavioural eval is on Wed. He's been pretty good the past week. Its when he's been good for a few days that I second guess myself. He really can't be that bad, can he? Bu when its bad, its hellish so I have to keep that in mind. I owe it to all of us to make sure there is nothing wrong.
I'm going to spend Sunday snuggling with my first baby. I don't think I'm ready for this. All the new responsiblities......lunch, library books.....oh man!
Kindergarten orientation was yesterday. We got to see Keith's classroom, meet his teacher, take a bus ride, find his locker, etc. It was fun! Keith was actually very well behaved. He had trouble being quiet when Mrs. A was talking but thankfully he wasn't the only one! LOL
He seems slightly excited. Its really hard to tell with him. *sigh*
His behavioural eval is on Wed. He's been pretty good the past week. Its when he's been good for a few days that I second guess myself. He really can't be that bad, can he? Bu when its bad, its hellish so I have to keep that in mind. I owe it to all of us to make sure there is nothing wrong.
I'm going to spend Sunday snuggling with my first baby. I don't think I'm ready for this. All the new responsiblities......lunch, library books.....oh man!
Friday, August 11, 2006
Too sentimental??
I've been thinking about my house for a while now. I'm not in love with my house. Its not quite big enough for us. We have 3 bedrooms and 2 baths plus the normal living room, kitchen and one other room that I have no clue what to call. Family room, I guess. None of these rooms are supersized and we have no basement or attic.......no garage only a teeny shed for outdoor storage. Oh and we have the enclosed porch that is STILL under contruction. The outside is finished but not the inside.
So anyway, I've thought before about selling it and finding something a bit bigger or at the least something with a smaller payment. We didn't spend a fortune on this house but the payments are alot for us.
The problem, you ask? The 2.5 acres that we (and the bank, of course!) own are part of the original farm that my grandparents had. I remember as a child sled riding in the field where my house is now. This is HOME! My parents and grandmother live on what's left of the farm acreage so its not as if I let my part go, it would be out of the family.
I wonder sometimes if my sentimentality is endangering my family's financial security.
So anyway, I've thought before about selling it and finding something a bit bigger or at the least something with a smaller payment. We didn't spend a fortune on this house but the payments are alot for us.
The problem, you ask? The 2.5 acres that we (and the bank, of course!) own are part of the original farm that my grandparents had. I remember as a child sled riding in the field where my house is now. This is HOME! My parents and grandmother live on what's left of the farm acreage so its not as if I let my part go, it would be out of the family.
I wonder sometimes if my sentimentality is endangering my family's financial security.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
In memory of Ryan
Monday, July 17, 2006
School starts Aug 28th!
But wait, that's only 41 days away........that's way too soon!
Seriously, I'm gonna have a freakin' panic attack here. I am not prepared for my first baby to go to school. He can't be 5 already. Where did all this time go?
I'm going to be a total mess on the first day............okay the first week ...............or two.
Seriously, I'm gonna have a freakin' panic attack here. I am not prepared for my first baby to go to school. He can't be 5 already. Where did all this time go?
I'm going to be a total mess on the first day............okay the first week ...............or two.
Monday, July 03, 2006
I've officially reached my wits end
I am so tired........tired of fighting with Keith....over everything. It doesn't matter what it is. If you tell him the sky is blue, he'll argue with you about it.
The tantrums and screaming at the top of his lungs, I can't handle it anymore. I just want to sit down and cry. No one understands what its like to live with this child. They smirk and laugh when I complain. I don't know what to do with him. Mornings........gotta fight and struggle with him to get up, eat, and get dressed. Afternoons........gotta fight with him to do ANYTHING you want him to do. Night.........gotta fight with him to eat, play NICE with Caleb (this is a new thing...........he will grab Caleb's leg as Caleb is walking by and trip him, Keith will try dragging him around by the arm and he'll push him over.), gotta fight with Keith to get jammies on, go potty, brush teeth and get in bed. EVERY FUCKING DAY! This is my life. I struggle with an almost 5 year old constantly.
What's he going to be like in school? I've been struggling with this lately because I wonder if I should hold him out until next year. The bottom line is I'm going to send him because I don't know what else to do with him.
What kind of fucking mother am I?
The tantrums and screaming at the top of his lungs, I can't handle it anymore. I just want to sit down and cry. No one understands what its like to live with this child. They smirk and laugh when I complain. I don't know what to do with him. Mornings........gotta fight and struggle with him to get up, eat, and get dressed. Afternoons........gotta fight with him to do ANYTHING you want him to do. Night.........gotta fight with him to eat, play NICE with Caleb (this is a new thing...........he will grab Caleb's leg as Caleb is walking by and trip him, Keith will try dragging him around by the arm and he'll push him over.), gotta fight with Keith to get jammies on, go potty, brush teeth and get in bed. EVERY FUCKING DAY! This is my life. I struggle with an almost 5 year old constantly.
What's he going to be like in school? I've been struggling with this lately because I wonder if I should hold him out until next year. The bottom line is I'm going to send him because I don't know what else to do with him.
What kind of fucking mother am I?
Thursday, June 29, 2006
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